Tag Archives: cod


The best film ever made is Top Gun. I honestly don’t know why Hollywood, Bollywood or Nollywood continue to churn out inferior product. Cinematic perfection was attained in 1986 by Tony Scott, Val Kilmer, Kelly McGillis and The Cruiser. I’ve heard that it’s homoerotic but I don’t see it. My teachers used to make me […]

Point Brack(enbury)

To honour the advancing of Mrs Del Monte’s age by a year, Mrs Del monte’s folks kindly took me to The Brackenbury Restaurant (http://www.brackenburyrestaurant.co.uk/) nestled in the heart of Brackenbury Village. And Mrs Del Monte. Brackenbury Village, for those who find Chiswick too hip, Kensington too bustly and Barnes not twee enough. The Brackenbury was […]

Oslo Witted

Becåuse I håve too much money, Mrs Del Monte decided we should go to Stockholm for New Yeårs but we couldn’t åfford the flights so we went to Oslo insteåd, where the men look like fåiled novelists, the women look like cåtålogue models ånd the beer costs £8 å pint. I know little åbout Noggie […]

The Maple Leaf

It would be very easy to slate The Maple Leaf (http://www.themapleleaflondon.co.uk/) for serving average bar fare in somewhat artifical surroundings whilst having to endure the overbearing volume of the football commentary. I did that, but lost the text when Sandra, 19 from Croydon, emailed me saying she urgently needed me to take her virginity. I’m […]

Capricious Del Monte

There is no doubt that this year I have been extraordinarily lucky, having visited some top-class establishments: The Ritz, Pétrus, Burgh Island, The Belvedere, Walkabout. This is what happens when you become a big time food blogger. Your life changes in subtle ways and you do too. I notice things that you unchallenged peons don’t: […]


Supernanny is the best hangover TV in my opinion. The combination of simple problem-solving, armchair psychology, fun activities and the hotness of Jo Frost diverts you enough from your pain and the existential crisis of profound veisalgia. A distant second is all cooking shows and second best among these is the tried and test formula […]