Category USA

Florida in the Storm

And so to Florida for work, lovingly known as the California of the East, specifically Orlando. And hopefully not again for sometime. Orlando is as charmless as your mum’s boyfriend and 8% more joyless than wartime Warsaw. Orlando is what happens when you have excess of land and no imagination. Mile after mile of chain […]

Yorkshire Terror

[How unfortunate that the people Knockers is writing about are so famously illiterate. Perhaps anyone from the home counties travelling up North – presumably to survey potential fracking sites – might charitably read it out for them.] I’d never pick a fight with a Yorkshireman. Or a Yorkshirewoman. Or a Yorkshire Terrier, for that matter. […]

Smoke Gets In My Mouth

[Gosh Darn it, you can’t keep a good man down. I’m morally dubious (according to multiple primary school report cards) so it is laughably easy to keep me down. This means that at the moment the quest for new restaurants from different nations is achingly slow. Like my love-making. Hopefully this fact doesn’t mean you wander […]

El Fenix

[Knockers hijacks the blog again as she goes to more exotic locations on a more regular basis than me. Life=Unfair. Charlie=A Dish. Time=Money. Money=Power. Time=Power. Rolex=Overlord.] A few years ago, someone who mistook my verbal-diarrhoea for extroversion asked, nay instructed me to address a conference of over six hundred (self) important people at a FTSE […]

Burgering It Up

[I have not travelled to L.A., no Vishnu has not smiled on me. However, my collaborator Knockers is there right now and has visited a favourite haunt of ours. So over to her. But remember who the daddy is. I’m not above murder.] When I’m on Death Row for dissolving Barry Scott in a vat […]


There are plenty of places that claim to have the best burgers in town, which is a claim as tiresome as it is ubiquitous. Burgers can be revalatory but for me it’s about context: Home made, in a back garden over the BBQ, nothing is better. Sweaty in a joyless restaurant; or worse, Sunday in […]