Category London

Alba Grill

It’s not all the Ritz and Carluccios for Charlie you know. In order to complete this quest I sometimes have to go south of the river, the East End, and North London. These are the terms of my quest by which I must abide, but hopefully I’ll never have to go to Croydon or Watford. […]

Sami’s

In restaurants where you are served chicken wings there should be an emergency button or protocol in place whereby you can alert staff to a Broken Arrow situation and the staff trigger a balloon drop of 1,000 napkins. Also places that serve lobster or gambas. Anyone who has witnessed Mrs Del Monte chow down on […]

St. Moritz

Everyone agrees that I’m pretty manly. I’m like Ernest Hemingway in a lumberjack shirt bounding across dales with a machete, chewing tobacco, conversing authoritatively about cricket and seducing women (with my eyes – there’s no physical intimacy, I remain resolutely loyal to Mrs Del Monte. But there’s no helping the dozens of females upon whom […]

Riviera Bistro

Riviera Bistro Riviera Bistro is the sort of place that I could become positively evangelical about. I could go on about supporting local trade and foregoing franchise restaurants. But if you want that fart-sniffing Guardianista crap then go and read the Telegraph or whatever. I’m here for hard truth, excoriating wit and helpful directions. But […]

Afghan Kitchen

It’s convoluted, callously cruel and entirely self-serving, but my stance on British foreign policy is developing into an aggressively expansionist posture. Look it: In the last 15 years we’ve invaded Iraq and Afghanistan, generating a huge refugee population some of whom made their way to London to open delicious restaurants. So here’s what we do: […]

San Marino

San Marino? That’s right: San chuffing Marino! Impressed? Jealous? Without boning up on Wikipedia (Mrs Del Monte dislikes me boning up around the house), here’s what I know for 100% sure about San Marino: It has probably never won Eurovision; the international football team has 11 players; and the San Mariner passport isn’t allowed through […]

The Cuban

Everyone seems to be caught up and in the romance and drama of the football World Cup at the moment, and I must confess that I too feel pangs of excitement. Not because of the spectacle you understand (there are too many goals – what happened to the art of defending?), but because I know […]