Author Archives: charliedelmonte

Go Fudge Yourselves

So out with a motherfudging bang not a motherfudging whimper. This is me, hanging up my ROTWUING gloves, retiring in my prime, undefeated on a basically world record 76, count them, 76 nation states represented by restaurants in London, within the M25. No one else comes close. No one can come close. I didn’t even […]

Bob Bob Ricard

Not even midway through Q2 of 2018 and here I am already posting. Kind of takes your breath away doesn’t it? I imagine you’ve spent much of 2018 pining for me: Well here I am. Take in a good long drink of Charlie. Get your nose right in there and snort away. There. That feels […]

Charlie On Charlie

To mark the 75 country milestone, whereby I have now visited 75 restaurants in London which represent 75 countries, I’ve decided to let you get to know the real Charlie Del Monte even more. I arranged an interview with … myself, in my toughest head-to-head to date. Searching, dogged, I get to the core of […]

Erebuni Restaurant

Foreword: This brings up the big 75 for this blog. The three-quarter century is a key landmark in virtually any domain. I started this quest in 2013 and one thing is for sure, I wouldn’t have made it this far without the indominatable Mrs Del Monte. Rain or shine, pregnant or not pregnant, nursing or […]

ROKA Hard

[Full disclosure: This was a birthday gift from my sister and back-up organ donor, Dangles Del Monte, and her Mancake who is in the business. If it had been a can of expired cat food with a candle in it, I would have high-fived the waiter. They went one better.] I’ve long extolled the many […]

McNasty

[Cripes alorky! Everyone look busy. In a first for this blog, Mrs Del Monte is putting pen to paper. Mind your Ps and Qs, tuck your shirt in, tie your laces, drag a comb through your hair, push the outie belly button in. Chin up, chest out. If she asks, I blog every day, dutifully, […]

Lemongrass

Lemongrass Restaurant claims to be the only Cambodian restaurant in the UK. A bold claim that I can’t be bothered to fact check but am going to assume is wrong unless everyone accepts my equally staggering counter claim: Charlie Del Monte is the greatest love machine in Cambodia. We cool? Nestled in the heart of […]

All Shikumen Up

[Once again, I’ve outsourced a blog to Knockers. She’s like my own private Bangalore. Which might explain the terrific bangers. That’s a word used by Gok Wan. I don’t normally use Gok Wan as a cultural touchstone, but fatherhood and onanism have changed me.] As we all know, the first rule of Epicureanism is that […]

Stockholmoerotic

Höly bålls döës håvïng å kïd püt å dënt ïn yöür söcïål lïfë. Pëöplë såy ïn rëtröspëct Ï shöüld’vë knöwn thåt, büt thåt hårdly hëlps. Whërë wås rëtröspëct whën Ï nëëdëd ït? Thërëförë ït wås wïth üncömmön rëlïsh thåt Mrs Dël Möntë ånd Ï ëscåpëd tö Stöckhölm ïn Swëdën tö lüxürïåtë ïn 6.30 å.m. lïë-ïns, […]

Hairy Palmas

[I was there and I don’t remember any of this.] “Size doesn’t matter.” “The best things come in small packages.” “It’s not how big it is, it’s what you do with it that counts.” “That’s not where that goes, Charlie.” All things that Del Monte has heard many times and each of them entirely untrue. […]