Search Terminal

You guys are freaks. Really, genuinely, clinically fudged up. Out of idle curiosity I happened to peruse some of the search terms that lead people to my amazing blog.

Let’s start with this weirdness:

james may indianzing
james may top geat indian zing
james may best indian food

I mentioned him once, but apparently there is hunger to find out the latest about James May being in Indian Zing. It sickens me that Top Gear is the biggest earner that the BBC has, but now the least obnoxious one is driving traffic to my website. I’m so conflicted. And I love a good pun. I assume that the first one, james may indianzing, is just poorly spaced and it wasn’t “James May indianizing.” What the heck is Indianizing? I just googled it. Don’t google it. James May is a monster.

These are just a little bit weird, but probably the search terms that would most impress mummy. You guys I can have around for tea and doyles. But I’m sure as snot that conversation will dry up pretty quickly.

thesis of the port manila
what to wear at burgh island hotel
føød før thøught

These are not my target audience, but kind of my people. I can’t help but love someone who’ll go to the trouble of googling for smut in Norway but can’t go the distance to spell correctly. My target audience? Norwegian strippers.

hooker thailand
la mantilla cartagena prostitute
strip clubs in cyprus wordpress
thailand hooker bar
striptize oslo

Hang your heads in shame:

square pork
tasty maggot
chyna wwf ass
gay cartoon on bloglovin
nundo’s
vomitorium restaurants
sexy dog costumes 2014

I’m assuming these search terms originate from 7 different people, but you all have to look at yourself long and hard in the mirror. Or maybe just long. Forget the hard bit. Also Google, what the fudge? Tasty maggot, square pork and sexy dog costumes 2014 I can see how you’d get to my blog with those terms. But which dinoboob syphilitically blundered their way onto it with nundo’s? Why get the punctuation right if you’re going to fist up the spelling? Google, I command thee to direct that sort of venereal discharge away from rotwu.com. It’s too good for them.

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