Lahore Mongering

Monumental news everyone: I may have developed a sneaking sliver of admiration for Hipsters. I have for years maintained that the best thing about beards is that I can continue to enjoy meals long after other people have forgotten about them. This is due to the residual aroma, flavour, and, yes, sometimes matter from the meal lodged in my beard. This is never more true than when I’ve enjoyed a curry. Of course, now I understand that those hipster polyps who swarm around the East End, home of some of London’s best curry establishments, have beards for a practical reason not just as some indecipherable fashion statement. They, like me, are just squeezing every last drop of sensation out of their meal. And for that I cannot fault them, however much I want to shove them into oncoming traffic.

And so you’ll be thrilled to learn that after visiting the Lahore Kebab House ( even the next day Mrs Del Monte was lauding the miraculous lamb beard that wafted the bewitching essence of the Lahore Kebab House grilled lamb chops. Listerine doesn’t last that long. The lamb chops were the highlight of my visit to Tayyabs and here again Pakistan demonstrated they have the key to world peace with their amazing grilled lamb chops. They should be parachuted into Crimea. You surely can’t march into battle when you’re slavishly nuzzling your sergeant’s lamb chop stubble. Nobel prize please. All the other food I had was excellent, though I couldn’t put names to any of the dishes as they were ordered in my absence. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say … curry? All accompanied by seemingly limitless chapatis, naans and pilau. About £15 per person, there were 10 of us and it is BYOB.

Almost as compelling as the food is the atmos and environs. Two floors of endless dining room, I felt like I was at the University of Lahore refrectory, plotting to take down that crusty dean with my brothers from Kappa Beta Phi. That sucker’s going to get the panty raid of a lifetime!

لہور !لاہور‎!

The chops! The chops!

The chops! The chops!

We're going to cherry bomb that crusty dean good and proper! (What is a cherry bomb?) Also pictured, the other food we ate.

We’re going to cherry bomb that crusty dean good! (What is a cherry bomb?) Also pictured, the other food we ate.

It's ginormas.

It’s ginormas.

Le menu.

Le menu.

Lahore Kebab House
2-10 Umberston Street
E1 1PY
Tel: 020 7481 9737

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