The best film ever made is Top Gun. I honestly don’t know why Hollywood, Bollywood or Nollywood continue to churn out inferior product. Cinematic perfection was attained in 1986 by Tony Scott, Val Kilmer, Kelly McGillis and The Cruiser. I’ve heard that it’s homoerotic but I don’t see it. My teachers used to make me and the lads play volleyball whilst oiled up after hours and I went to an all-boys school and there was nothing dodgy going on there. So you know. QED.

On top of being the greatest film ever made, it also loaded with excellent catchphrases and quips, foremost amongst which is:

I often paraphrase this when I’m hungry: I’m in the mood, the mood for food. Mrs Del Monte always laughs (with her eyes) and knows that whilst I’m being hilarious, I am in no way joking.

So last night we headed to Guadeloup French Caribbean Restaurant. It has recently opened, in that I hadn’t seen it before, and was busy with an office party when we arrived. There are bona fide French-speaking staff so I could show off with Mrs Del Monte by (almost) speaking it. A simple menu, I was tempted by the goat curry (actual goat, a bit bony apparently) but opted for the Salt Cod Fish Rice (which sounds like a round from Mallet’s Mallett) and Mrs Del Monte ordered the King Prawns Dumplings, authentic Guadeloupean (?) scran. Both were excellent, especially the tiny moreish dumplings. They had also managed to pull off the feat of making the environs sunny and picturesque, with huge panoramic pictures of beaches and waterfalls, without being overly bright. £27 for two people with wine AND no service included, so we were able to determine our tip. Classy touch Gaudeloupe.

Also well worth checking out is Bokit’la ( Their Bokits are naughty and addictive.

So let’s put Guadeloupe on the Big Board! Wait what? It’s not an independent state? It’s a region of France so doesn’t count towards the quest? Oh FFS. Intolerable French. I hereby call for another 100 Years War. Let’s get them! I’ll catch up. I have a bad leg.


A dome of rice. I love symmetrically presented food.

A dome of rice. I love symmetrically presented food.

Jolly big prawns and their dumpling minions oozing over the rim of the dish.

Jolly big prawns and their dumpling minions oozing over the rim of the dish.

Le menu

Le menu

Don't go chasing waterfalls. There's no need. There's one right there!

Don’t go chasing waterfalls. There’s no need. There’s one right there!

Charming no?

Charming no?

184 King Street
W6 0RA
Tel: 020 8001 0854

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: