Cry Me A River Cafe

We (me, Mrs Del Monte, Dangles, Mancake, Mama Del Monte and Endeavour Del Monte (a.k.a. Pops)) held our annual board meeting at the River Cafe (http://www.rivercafe.co.uk/) where we reviewed the accounts, talked promotion (my sister Dangles still angling for the promotion to Son) and plotted the downfall of the Del Muntes those toxic bottom-feeding, mouth-breathing swines. They think they’re so big, but you know what, they’re not.

I’ll let the pictures do the talking – the food is excellent and eye-wateringly expensive. We were packed in like sardines along with virtually every cast member from Made In Chelsea with their nicely pressed shirts, jumpers over the shoulder and pastel chinos. No jury in the land would have convicted me of going postal. The service was attentive and everything arrived in quick succession. Special mention to the hare pappardelle and the lamb. I don’t know how the Italians can pack it away with antipasti, primi and secondi. But I didn’t need supper or breakfast the next day. Perhaps that’s the Italian secret. That and whatever happened in the Da Vinci Code. Did they ever find Da Vinci? The point is either go for anti pasti + primi/secondi or primi + secondi. All three is folly. Unless the it is a real Italian restaurant and comes complete with vomitorium, then you can park your custard between courses guilt free. Helpful hint: never Google image search the word vomitorium. You can’t unsee that stuff.

VOMITORIUM!