We’re Guaning Bana(nas). I’m tired OK

Curse you The Carribbean. Not only am I not there, sunning myself on a sun-kissed beach sipping on a cocktail with scantily clad maidens Mrs Del Monte hurrying to fulfil my every sordid whim but there are so many tossing islands with populations of 8 but somehow they managed to hoodwink the UN into making them nations which means they’re on my list and they are hardly represented in restaurant form in London. And when they are they all serve up the same stuff. Jerk chicken, goat curry and plantain may be yummy but show some regional diversity please.

Which means, according to my self-imposed rules, Guanabana (http://www.guanabanarestaurant.com/) cannot count for any specific country (unless they can claim to represent the British Virgin Islands specifically – go on Guanabana, tweet that this is so and I’ll be forever in your debt). So, depsite Guanabana’s stubborn insistence that it represents all of the Caribbean and South America (that’s quite a claim), it pains me to confess that they serve up some jolly decent scran. So I made some schoolboy errors by not ordering a milkshake or mocktail (it has no licence but allows BYOB); SIL implored me to order the fried chicken skins which I forgot. But me and Mrs Del Monte hunkered down on some Jerk Chicken and a Bajan burger. Both performed exceptionally well though the chicken wasn’t as charred as I like for something that is BBQed. People on the next table had the mac & cheese which looked very tempting.

The service is exemplary and very friendly and the cavernous place has nooks and crannies all over the place teeming with characters in a buzzing atmosphere. £25 for two people and no waiting, I’ll be back to explore the menu more thoroughly.

THE ALL OF THE CARIBBEAN!

Chickens with tits this big must have bad backs.

Chickens with tits this big must have bad backs.

That's a shiv stabbed directly into my burger. It's a classic Caribbean gangster warning. It means "stop talking with a poor Jamaican accent near the kitchen you twatknuckle."

That’s a shiv stabbed directly into my burger. It’s a classic Caribbean gangster warning. It means “stop talking with a poor Jamaican accent near the kitchen you twatknuckle.”

Del Monte. Charlie Del Monte. Licence to drive (suspended).

Del Monte. Charlie Del Monte. Licence to drive (suspended).

The outside. With an unconvincing extra failing to take direction on the right. What is he doing? Ruining my already terrible photography.

The outside. With an unconvincing extra failing to take direction on the right. What is he doing? Ruining my already terrible photography.

Le menu. Disappointed to learn that the goat curry is made with sheeps.

Le menu. Disappointed to learn that the goat curry is made with sheeps.

Pirate Plug makes you walk the plank in the facilities.

Pirate Plug makes you walk the plank in the facilities.

There's something you don't see every day.

There’s something you don’t see every day.

Guanabana
85 Kentish Town Road
Camden
London NW1 8NY
Tel: 0207 485 1166
http://www.guanabanarestaurant.com/

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