Even I had heard of Tayyabs (http://www.tayyabs.co.uk/) prior to my visit. I’d even queued there once as an artistic act of futility. It was my Charge of the Light Brigade. But more heroic. It would be easy to be deceived, with the teeming uniformed minions, scurrying in all directions, into thinking that this was a harmony of synchronicity, all cogs and pistons working in dark unison in the bowels of a Whitechapel basement. But it is not. It is hellishly efficient right up to the point you sit down, then it becomes wonderfully shambolic. Only one of the villainous waiters was deemed capable to take orders which meant my dining partner, KJ of Togane, had a chance to nip out to an offie for some tall, cool Kingfishers as it is dry as a frikkin bone but BYOB.
Amusingly, the Titan of ordering, preceded by a lozenge of hushed awe, managed to frig our order up, but they got it right eventually and it was worth our wait. The Seekh and Shami were half good, half odd. One of them was your traditionally minced skewer that I could cheerfully survive on if stuck in a kebab shop for months. The other was a peculiar puff of a spicy patty, masquerading as a kebab, but fooling no one. The lamb chops though were something jolly special. I would be surprised if the lambs hadn’t been marinated to death, they were so intensely flavoured. More of those please oh yes.
The Karahi Gosht and Dhal Baingun were equally excellent and just enough for 2 bearded men to feel as though we come within a hairbreadth of gluttony. KJ has actually been to Pakistan and seemed convinced of the authenticity. Him and Osama go way back to beard school.
£25 for two bearded men excluding BYOB. Would definitely go again!
I met a teenage boy on the tube on the way home, after closing time, who was covered in his own blood and I ended up accompanying him to A&E. He confessed to self-harming and explained his difficult circumstances, but we also talked travel, music and university. Nothing can be worse than battling your own mind and I guessed he had few people he could talk to. In retrospect I think I should have given him my phone number, but for some reason I didn’t. I hope he’s OK.
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