Douche Safari

I was deceived, lied to and betrayed near constantly yesterday. The tossing weathermen promised 17 degrees; I was promised a trip to the East End to sneer at hipsters which turned into a trawl through Columbia Road vintage shops; and the pork we ordered in Laxeiro ( tasted suspiciously like beef. Actually the latter was more of a pleasant surprise, but by that time I was feeling particularly sensitive so tears were my only recourse.

Spain has already been ticked off (with their poor showing at Eurovision are you surprised? – hey yo!) but not all of the East End is a gastronomic clusterfudge. I’d promised myself Tahitian Goulash, but when that was not forthcoming we ducked into Laxeiro. The meatballs and tortilla were tops and tackled the hangover I’d caught off Dame Monte. She ordered pork which turned out to be a beautifully prepared minute steak. Which actually turned out to be organic Acorn fed pork shoulder. Like beef I tells you. Beef! It must be tasted to be believed. But it must be tasted.

£23 for two people and now Laxiero has earned a much coveted Del Monte endorsement, though tempered by the fact that it didn’t serve Mongolian Bokits.

Coda: We then mistakenly wandered through Hoxton Square, Hispter Douche central, the Belly of the Beast and came through unscathed. As soon as we leave the EU I’m going to instute Hipster safaris where one can roam the East End, picking off hispters with a scoped rifle off the back of a jeep.

Peace out!

It looks like beef doesn't it? It's nicely salted as well. Just awesome!

It looks like beef doesn’t it? It’s nicely salted as well. Just awesome!

Part demolished Tortilla

Part demolished Tortilla

Meatballs. Unspicy.

Meatballs. Unspicy.

Nice no?

Nice no?

Lookit - Laxeiro from without

Lookit – Laxeiro from without

93 Columbia Road
E2 7RG
Tel: 0207 729 1147


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