Something Myself Horse

I am not a hero. I’m just a regular Joe. A normal guy with an amazing beard and a passing interest in food and to a lesser extent people. This is not an “Issue” blog.

But I’ve found a cause. Some people might say “That’s not particularly noble” or “Did he say horse?” But they won’t put me off. If there can be a NAMBLA, and if they can reject my application for being dubious, then I can be my generation’s Martin Luther Vandross. What’s the problem with eating horse? Horse has been found in burgers apparently:

OK. Gordon Ramsay (if that is his real name) may have got there first:

But I’m going to throw my hat in the ring a mere 6 years later: Horse meat is an edible foodstuff and if well prepared can be quite delicious. Why the Brits have this inconsistent attachment to horses – or hortheth if you have a lisp – is beyond me. As a nation we slaughter cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, rabbits, deer in the thousands and millions. And lambs. Not even sheep: Baby sheep, because the flesh is more tender and flavoursome. But you go near a horse and you’re a monster. And horses have got it coming (this is where I lose what little support I had) because they’re big and kick out. They could take your head clean off. They’re godless killing machines and it’s our moral duty to kill and eat them before they do the same to us.

Of course horsemeat should not be illicitly snuck into burgers, unless you’re devising an elaborate prank. But opprobrium for scoffing horse is entirely misplaced. Unless you’re in PETA or an actual factual vegetarian, in which case: “I got your meat right here!” (*grabs crotch*).

Charlie Horse

Charlie Horse

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